A Lot Can Happen In a Year

I moved to Hawaii July '12. Now it's 2013 and I am starting to pick up the pieces. This song is completely appropriate at this point in my life. Thank you, Riley Armstrong!

I have so much to tell you

A lot can happen in a year

The days ran past like water downhill

Now that the dust has settled 

Now when the quiet knife appears

Dissecting all the distractions and

All the prayers I could have prayed

Are left ringing in my ears

You reach down and pick me up

When circumstances run aground

You stretch me out across the track

You get me, You get me

You're strong enough to take me back

Even my third second chance

You get me, You get me

I want so much to listen to all the lessons in a year

Bruises on a memory

I fumble through three hundred days like dominoes on roller skates

Your promises, by my finger nails, I'm holding on

You already know I want to know

When life plays out much different than

You meet me here

You understand

You get me, You get me

The days run past like water downhill 

Tears, Hormones, and Bono

Dear Bono,

I had a really rough day. I've been crying a lot this week and just when I thought things were getting better, the big one hit. So I cried until I really just had tears falling off my face.... past the point of knowing or caring what great sadness pricked me to begin with. All I could wonder was WHY do we cry? Why do my eyes drip drop when I'm emotional? Wouldn't you like to know, Bono? Here's what I learned: according to a paper by Wendy Nortlund, "When emotions affect us, the nervous system stimulates the cranial nerve, in the brain and this sends signals to the neurotransmitters to the tear glands. Thus, we cry .The largest tear gland, the lacrimal gland produces the tears of emotion and reflex. Many believe that the body, in times of emotional stress, depends on this gland to release excess amounts of chemicals and hormones, returning it to a stable state." I can't stop thinking about the connection between tears and hormones. I love the fact that tears are supposed to calm you down when you get all worked up. This reminds me of Psalm 56:8, "You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book." When I was in high school, I would sing a song with those lines. I loved that song. I love to know that God cares about my sorrows. He doesn't tell me to shut up or that I'm stupid. He listens and I know that He is working on my behalf.... even if I'm selfish... even if I can't see the forest for the trees. What a good God!

Anyway, so getting back to this whole thing about tears... I know that when I am super PMSy, that I cry a lot. I always wondered why... what exactly are my hormones up to? Well, HELLO, they're pouring out my face. I'm more emotional at certain times of the month. Things that don't normally rock me will CRUSH my world... and I cry a lot. It's nice to know that the tears are there to bring back stability!!! That is so amazing! Bono, aren't you glad you learned all about tears now?

Then on my way home tonight, I was listening to the radio and "Sunday Bloody Sunday" came on. I can't separate that song from my youth. When I touched your shoe at the Elevation tour, it was one of the highlights of my life. Yes it was. And the morning after the concert I woke up singing Sunday Bloody Sunday from my sleep. Oh yes, I did. So tonight I heard you singing your guts out and I got emotional. And all I could think on the freeway drive home was, "Oh, God, please don't let Bono die. I will be so sad when he dies. I don't want to outlive that beautiful voice." The next thing I knew, I was totally sobbing, "I don't want Bono to diiiieeee!!" It was maybe one of the most crazy moments of my life. And tears are flowing off my face. Suddenly I'm reminded that tears are weird. I don't know why they flow. I need to look it up when I get home. I need to write to you, Bono and tell you all about my hope that you outlive me. I hope you go to heaven so I can listen to you forever. I'm so glad I touched your shoe. I'm so glad your music touched my heart. And then I was calmed... oddly calm... huffing and puffing at the stoplight down the street from my house. The music started to repeat, 

"Wipe the tears from your eyes

Wipe your tears away

Oh, wipe your tears away

Oh, wipe your tears away.

I wipe your tears away. 

I wipe your bloodshot eyes."

 So I wiped the tears away. And I laughed a little bit about my outburst over your impending mortality.  I will always love your music. And Sunday Bloody Sunday will always bring hormones pouring out my eyes. Bono, don't die.

And in case you want to listen right now.... 

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQZLPV6xcHI

Reflections: My Saturday Job at the Salon

Today I started a new adventure. I'm not sure how long I'll be on this "trip," but I'm excited about the possibilities. I've been given the opportunity to work from 8:30-3ish on Saturdays at a hair salon called "Shag." I've been getting my hair cut there for a number of years... and I really like it. I feel comfortable there unlike some of the shi-shi-foo-foo salons where I am made to feel dirty or incompetent just crossing the threshold of the shop. I thought it would be a good way to earn some extra cash, some free hair enhancement.. haha.. yeah. Why not? I've been pouring myself in to learning new things lately. Ukulele class, watercolor class, taxidermy class, etc. Why not learn about hair stuff and get PAID to do it? Make some new friends and get paid for it..... get out of the bubble I'm in all week and get PAID for it?! Woo! I am giving up my Saturdays, but it doesn't have to last forever. I haven't been doing all that much with them anyway- sleeping in and cleaning and grading papers. Well, somehow I'm sure I'll still get all that done, but I'll also have a productive day at the salon too. We'll see how it goes. For now, I'm excited about it. Funny thought for the day: the girl who trained me showed up wearing a strapless top that kept inching its way down all day. She was fairly bursting out of it and pretty proud of it. Later one of the stylists showed up with an extremely sheer skirt... you could see all under the whole thing... so the strapless girl looks at me with eyes wide open, "can you believe she wore that?! I can see right through it!".... and I just had to giggle. The shirtless one was shocked by the sheer one. Ahh... well. It was amusing. They were all really sweet and helpful to me and I look forward to working with them. It's definitely a new experience.