New Ideas

SUMMER. I love it. And this is a good one. For me it includes a two week road trip to Grand Canyon, Yellowstone, Washington, and San Francisco, learning German, meeting my nephew, taking watercolor classes, and going to Hawaii next week! I've also been reading and watching movies and going to concerts. I come away from these big events and I realize that I actually feel like writing again. I used to have this hunger to express my thoughts on paper... and it really went away through my college experience. A year and a half after finishing college, I was really disappointed that the hunger hadn't returned. Maybe I just needed some down time to decompress my thoughts and let them wander again. Time to think and mull. I am prone to introspection, but when things are so intensely busy I lose the ability to process and plan. Don't you know what I mean?

There are few weeks left before my return to work. I'm going to try to capture some of my summer experiences in blog form. So far: Grand Canyon, Roadtrips, Seattle, San Francisco, Dolly Parton, Shane, Future of Forestry, Daniel Day-Lewis.

I better get busy. I've got so many thoughts starting to spill out. I don't want to forget.

Making it Through

As the end of the school year draws nigh, I am feeling introspective and reminiscent. This year has been ROUGH. Here I am at 29 years old. I was 22 when I started working at Grace. Time flies. Over these painful months since I last wrote in October:

• I have ruled out 3 relationships that kept me wondering about their potential for at least 5 years. These relationships are gone and it's really freeing.
• I finally taught 2nd grade and realized how vital the summer months are for preparing for the upcoming year. I will actually be able to plan ahead this summer so I can have a better go at it next time.
• I have been through one of the worst trials of my life at my workplace/church... I am still seeing it come to some sort of resolution. I learned a lot through this painful time and see how God faithfully purifies His church.
• I had the flu twice. It was so awful. But it was only twice... so glad that was it. Next year: I will wear a mask to school when the kids get all snotty sick!
• I discovered my love for taxidermy and the possibility of a future career in case teaching doesn't stick.
• I grew my hair out and will keep it growing... although I do think of cutting it all the time.
• I am finally joining a fellowship group and going as often as possible to a study with a really neat group of girls.

I don't have a lot to say. I just wanted to think back on what I've been through. I'm looking forward to the future- forward to changes and growth and peace. I am taking a break this summer... not working, going on a roadtrip to several national parks and up to washington/canada area and San Francisco. My sister will be here for a month and I am excited to meet my nephew. I'll be able to read and think and write and prepare for next year.... and then, hopefully, I'll be able to meet more of my goals in the near future. There is definitely a sense of hopefulness in my heart. I am thankful.

Life Thoughts

I've been living like a stressed-out wild woman since March... with the exception of 3 weeks in the summer when I went on a 7 day cruise to Mexico and housesat for some friends for 2 weeks. Yeah. Those were good times. But then I started to prepare for teaching 2nd grade... and the insanity began. I really thought things would be different when I was done with college, but it's just gotten more difficult and more stressful. I've been having issues with hair loss and weight gain and even mild depression at times. So I've been wanting to find ways to improve my quality of life while things ARE hard and hectic.... and my searching led me to this and it makes me laugh now:

Video of a commune in Monterey, Ca : http://www.nps.gov/aboutus/workwithus.htm

and it totally appealed to me. Really? A commune? A purposeful community? It actually sounds so great. I like the idea. I would love to teach (provide a quality education for) a small group of children in a community like that. Be their purposeful, long-term tutor... and also have a life. Wow, that would be so cool!

In the end, my thoughts go back to the Oaks Christian Camp-- where I have wanted to work for a few summers now. Maybe I can make it a summer commune/kid ministry thing. I am going to pray about the possibilities.

Just remember to have a billion stones of respect for your teachers. You have no idea how hard it is to care for so many kids all day long, all year long. Wow... I guess you can't really know unless you were a teacher. Give them a hug. Offer to grade some papers... most of all, teach your kids how to be respectful and how to obey....

Ultimately, I decided to stop worrying about my life... I know that God will take care of me. I know things will work out alright. Maybe my life will be so different than I expect from this point right now-- it's been SO DIFFERENT than I expected from when I was a kid or even 10 years ago.. or even 5 years ago.

Here we go, plodding forward through the drought and soul-breaking work: "It is the nature of the strong heart, that like the palm tree it strives ever upwards when it is most burdened." - Sir Philip Sidney

To persevere, I remember Isaiah 61:3

"To grant those who mourn in Zion,

Giving them a garland instead of ashes,

The oil of gladness instead of mourning,

The mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting

So they will be called oaks of righteousness,

The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified."

Psalm 1

How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked,

Nor stand in the path of sinners,

Nor sit in the seat of scoffers!

But his delight is in the law of the LORD,

And in His law he meditates day and night.

He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water,

Which yields its fruit in its season

And its leaf does not wither;

And in whatever he does he prospers.

The wicked are not so,

But they are like chaff which the wind drives away.

Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,

Nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.

For the LORD knows the way of the righteous,

But the way of the wicked will perish.