Yosemite & San Francisco

I'm leaving tomorrow for Yosemite & San Francisco. I will see Mt. Tam again. I'm going to bring my camera and a bag of drawing supplies. I have a couple books and a sack of lanyards. I might choose some things to work on, but I also might sit... and sit... and think...

I'm bringing my journal.

I'm leaving everything else.

The phone is only for emergencies.

All of this makes me very happy.

Listening to Tracy Chapman..

& Ingrid Michaelson's "Breakable"

"Have you ever thought about what protects our hearts?

Just a cage of rib bones and other various parts.
So it's fairly simple to cut right through the mess,
And to stop the muscle that makes us confess.

And we are so fragile,
And our cracking bones make noise,
And we are just,
Breakable, breakable, breakable girls and boys.

You fasten my seatbelt because it is the law.
In your two ton death trap I finally saw.
A piece of love in your face that bathed me in regret.
Then you drove me to places I'll never forget."

Soon I'll be so far away.

One day at a time.

Not Even A Hint

It's so busy right now. So much is crazy. So many books to read. Want to get back into exercising. Can't wait another month. Don't care anymore if I don't fix it in the meantime. The end does not justify the means.

So I'm picking up "Not Even A Hint" by Joshua Harris again. I need more discipline in every area of my life. I need to stay on track... and fill my mind with the Spirit even when it seems impossibly busy and ridiculously full of required but futile things like reading a plethora of books and doing physics. But, alas, I know that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. I want to finish well... physically, in my heart, and with school.

Here we go.

3 more weeks.

Cupcakes and Speeches

HAD I the heavens’ embroidered cloths, Enwrought with golden and silver light, The blue and the dim and the dark cloths Of night and light and the half light, I would spread the cloths under your feet: But I, being poor, have only my dreams; I have spread my dreams under your feet; Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

W.B. Yeats (1865–1939) "He Wishes For the Cloths of Heaven"

When I'm Done with School...

There's a lot of things on my mind. Things I'd like to do but can't until I'm finished writing papers and reading books that are required for my BA in Liberal Studies. I thought I'd get some of these things off my mind if I make a list of what I'd LIKE to do when I finally get to do what I want/ spend money on something besides text books. I just signed my Senior Contract, so hopefully I'll finish this summer. 

So what are these things I'm hoping to do? 

Off the top of my yearning heart:

1. I want to paint with my grampa. He has been giving me art supplies for a couple years now and I've done a lousy job of using them. I want to indulge the uber-goober inside and watch Bob Ross with grampa and paint my heart out like Mark Rothko. I want to go to museums all over the place and look at art.

2. I want to draw trees and finally get myself a tree tattoo. I've

 been talking about it for years and it's about time. I've been a little 

afraid of the pain and the distraction the pain can be to my studies.... so now I wont have any excuses!

3. I want to make things! I love quilting and knitting and crafty nerdy things.

 So now I want to sell things on ETSY. What things? Too many to think of. Right now I want 

to learn how to crochet baby booties and make 

amigurumi animals. I like little projects because I will actually finish them.

4. I have PILES and PILES of books 

that are begging to be read!!!! 

I am practically drooling as I look at my bookshelf.

5. I want to go on trips- like back to Mount Tamalpais 

near San Francisco...

And while I'm hiking, exploring, conquering the world, 

I want to work on my photography skills.

I guess that's it for now. 

There's more- for sure...

but that's a starting place and I have to constantly

give my desires for these things to the Lord because.... 

I CAN'T do them right now! Peace! Be content!!

In all things... content.

And Jon Foreman's song is really pulling my heart strings right now. He beautifully orchestrates

"Your Love is Strong"- a rendition of the Lord's Prayer... says it all:

"Heavenly Father 

You always amaze me
Let your kingdom come 
In my world and in my life
You give me the food I need 
To live through the day
And forgive me as I forgive 
The people that wronged me
Lead me far from temptation
Deliver me from the evil one

I look out the window 
The birds are composing
Not a note is out of tune 
Or out of place
I look at the meadow 
And stare at the flowers
Better dressed than any girl 
On her wedding day

So why do I worry?
Why do I freak out?
God knows what I need
You know what I need

Your love is
Your love is
Your love is strong

The kingdom of the heavens 
Is now advancing
Invade my heart 
Invade this broken town
The kingdom of the heavens 
Is buried treasure
Will you sell yourself 
To buy the one you've found?

Two things you told me
That you are strong
And you love me
Yes, you love me

Our God in heaven
Hallowed be
Thy name above all names
Your kingdom come
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us today our daily bread
Forgive us wicked sinners
Lead us far away from our vices
And deliver us from these prisons"

Curds and Whey

I saw a History Channel program... one of those Modern Marvels.... on CHEESE...

The whole time I was thinking about Little Miss Muffet, because she was eating her curds and whey.. which is basically cheese before the cheese process. I think it must have been awful stuff!

But it was such an interesting program. I could have watched about cheese for hours.

Good Things

Today's little pleasures are: 

Irish Breakfast tea (so good! never tried it before!)

Pear & Cottage cheese with cinnamon & nutmeg

Picked up a dandelion on a walk

Jillian Michaels is kicking my  b-u-t-t with her 30 day shred video

AND, I am excited about the future & graduating this summer!

I am determined as my little snail study buddy!

A Divine Image

William Blake

Cruelty has a human heart,
And Jealousy a human face;
Terror the human form divine,
And secrecy the human dress.

The human dress is forged iron,
The human form a fiery forge,
The human face a furnace seal'd,
The human heart its hungry gorge.

It's True...

Matthew 5:3-10,

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.  Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.  Blessed are gentle, for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.  Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God. Blessed are those who have been persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

God's promises are for those who are humble and contrite and who tremble at His word. This week I was reminded of His great mercy. I was SO TIRED. I was ready to give up. I was full of tears and sorrows and my load was getting to be more than I could bear. And in His kindness, He took loads from me and gave me water and refreshed my soul! Now find myself reflecting on Isaiah 40 and I feel hungry and thirsty for righteousness again. 

Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The Everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth
Does not become weary or tired 
His understanding is inscrutable......

Yet those who wait for the LORD
Will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.

I get to drop my World History class... and it's wiped off my transcripts.... and I get a refund.

WOW.

Tired

Psalm 145

I will extol You, my God, O King,
And I will bless Your name forever and ever.
Every day I will bless You,
And I will praise Your name forever and ever.
Great is the LORD, and highly to be praised,
And His greatness is unsearchable.
One generation shall praise Your works to another,
And shall declare Your mighty acts.
On the glorious splendor of Your majesty
And on Your wonderful works, I will meditate.
Men shall speak of the power of Your awesome acts,
And I will tell of Your greatness.
They shall eagerly utter the memory of Your abundant goodness
And will shout joyfully of Your righteousness.
The LORD is gracious and merciful;
Slow to anger and great in lovingkindness.
The LORD is good to all,
And His mercies are over all His works.
All Your works shall give thanks to You, O LORD,
And Your godly ones shall bless You.
They shall speak of the glory of Your kingdom
And talk of Your power;
To make known to the sons of men Your mighty acts
And the glory of the majesty of Your kingdom.
Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,
And Your dominion endures throughout all generations.
The LORD sustains all who fall
And raises up all who are bowed down.
The eyes of all look to You,
And You give them their food in due time.
You open Your hand
And satisfy the desire of every living thing.
The LORD is righteous in all His ways
And kind in all His deeds.
The LORD is near to all who call upon Him,
To all who call upon Him in truth.
He will fulfill the desire of those who fear Him;
He will also hear their cry and will save them.
The LORD keeps all who love Him,
But all the wicked He will destroy.
My mouth will speak the praise of the LORD,
And all flesh will bless His holy name forever and ever.

Another Day

“Only one life, ‘twill soon be past.
Only what’s done for Christ will last.”

I'll Fly Away

Some bright morning when this life is over
I'll fly away
To that home on God's celestial shore
I'll fly away

   I'll fly away oh glory
   I'll fly away (in the morning)
   When I die hallelujah by and by
   I'll fly away

When the shadows of this life have gone
I'll fly away
Like a bird from these prison walls I'll fly
I'll fly away

Oh how glad and happy when we meet
I'll fly away
No more cold iron shackles on my feet
I'll fly away

Just a few more weary days and then
I'll fly away
To a land where joys will never end
I'll fly away