Life Thoughts

I've been living like a stressed-out wild woman since March... with the exception of 3 weeks in the summer when I went on a 7 day cruise to Mexico and housesat for some friends for 2 weeks. Yeah. Those were good times. But then I started to prepare for teaching 2nd grade... and the insanity began. I really thought things would be different when I was done with college, but it's just gotten more difficult and more stressful. I've been having issues with hair loss and weight gain and even mild depression at times. So I've been wanting to find ways to improve my quality of life while things ARE hard and hectic.... and my searching led me to this and it makes me laugh now:

Video of a commune in Monterey, Ca : http://www.nps.gov/aboutus/workwithus.htm

and it totally appealed to me. Really? A commune? A purposeful community? It actually sounds so great. I like the idea. I would love to teach (provide a quality education for) a small group of children in a community like that. Be their purposeful, long-term tutor... and also have a life. Wow, that would be so cool!

In the end, my thoughts go back to the Oaks Christian Camp-- where I have wanted to work for a few summers now. Maybe I can make it a summer commune/kid ministry thing. I am going to pray about the possibilities.

Just remember to have a billion stones of respect for your teachers. You have no idea how hard it is to care for so many kids all day long, all year long. Wow... I guess you can't really know unless you were a teacher. Give them a hug. Offer to grade some papers... most of all, teach your kids how to be respectful and how to obey....

Ultimately, I decided to stop worrying about my life... I know that God will take care of me. I know things will work out alright. Maybe my life will be so different than I expect from this point right now-- it's been SO DIFFERENT than I expected from when I was a kid or even 10 years ago.. or even 5 years ago.

Here we go, plodding forward through the drought and soul-breaking work: "It is the nature of the strong heart, that like the palm tree it strives ever upwards when it is most burdened." - Sir Philip Sidney

To persevere, I remember Isaiah 61:3

"To grant those who mourn in Zion,

Giving them a garland instead of ashes,

The oil of gladness instead of mourning,

The mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting

So they will be called oaks of righteousness,

The planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified."

Psalm 1

How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked,

Nor stand in the path of sinners,

Nor sit in the seat of scoffers!

But his delight is in the law of the LORD,

And in His law he meditates day and night.

He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water,

Which yields its fruit in its season

And its leaf does not wither;

And in whatever he does he prospers.

The wicked are not so,

But they are like chaff which the wind drives away.

Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,

Nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.

For the LORD knows the way of the righteous,

But the way of the wicked will perish.

Chickens!!

I've begun the "Great Catching Up." I would compare it to the "Great Migration" that Littlefoot makes to get to the Great Valley in the The Land Before Time. Why is that on my mind? Maybe because tonight I went to see my old friend, Tiana, and she has a ton of animals.

I have not been able to hang out with her in over a year. She moved back from Illinois and I was really sad that we couldn't get together because of my school work. Well, today was the first attempt at social-ness in a long time... and I went to see her and found that she is the mother to a whole flock of chickens, 2 geese, 3 cats, 1 dog, 2 fish, a flock of quail and various other pets, plants, and a grandma! :)

It was so good to catch up with her! Oh, friends, how I have missed you!

And she said she would give me a call when her chicks hatch- in about 3 weeks. I've never held a baby chicken before. The big ones are a little creepy. She had crazy chickens with big fluffy heads, and chickens with "fur" instead of feathers, and small chickens, and chickens that lay green eggs... ohhh.. chickens, where have you been all my life?!

New Seasons: 10 Goals

I am done.

I finished my B.A. after 5 years of torture. There were good times, sure, but I have concluded that if I had it all to do over again, I wouldn't do it again. Optimistically, I have no regrets. I had to do it and I did.... but I'm glad it is done. I have no intention of pursuing my teaching credential... but I'm excited to keep learning. I feel like I just gave birth after 5 years of labor. Thankfully this "baby" came with honors.... and I can't wait to get my diploma.

Some of my goals for this new phase of life:

1. Read tons of books that I wished I could have spent time on when I was buried deep in text books. Maybe I'll blog about it since I don't have to write papers anymore.

2. Organize and purge my stuff and wardrobe. I didn't bother to think about it while I was so busy. After I clean stuff out, then I want to make my room a prettier place to live. Eventually I would like to focus on moving so I'd like to "get it together."

3. Make stuff!!!! I have soooo many projects I want to do. I'm going to start painting again. I want to learn to quilt and sew better and take a cake frosting class. I want to make clothes for my Blythe doll and sell them on Etsy. I might even look up a sewing class right now! Yea!

4. Learn how to cook. You know, I can follow any recipe, but there is just something more to cooking than that... experimentation....

5. Lead a more disciplined and chaos-free life. I need to exercise every day. I've gained a lot of weight while sitting around writing papers and reading books. It's time to work that out. I'm feeling some dread but I'm also excited to see the changes happen-- and hopefully they will be life changes that I never have to relearn again.

6. Budget and Travel. I've been working out a budget to help me get out of debt. I have school loans to pay back and also personal debt that I have never been able to shed... but I have some good plans to make big changes fast. Part of my budgeting is for travel. My sister lives in South Africa... and she is having a baby this summer. I can't make it out this year, but I want to find a way to get out there sooner than later. I have finally realized how the teacher life works. It's hard. You go to work and then when you go home exhausted and your feet hurt and your brain hurts, then you work some more. You make lessons and grade papers and come up with fun things to do and better ways to teach. It's great, but before I realize it, I've spent all my waking hours WORKING. I've come to accept it... but then I really look forward to days and weeks off. Thankfully, I won't be cramming papers and books into those vacations anymore. I'm going to ENJOY them. I'm going to make the most.

Places to go: France to see the Anthony's, Africa to see my sister, Hawaii to see the Costales family, Colorado to see the Dryden's, Kentucky to see Liz & Kristil, and South America just because I want to.

7. Be a better teacher. I've had to squeeze all my teacher things around my classes, but no more! Now I can focus on one thing and not have my heart all divided up. The possibilities are endless!!

8. Catch up with friends. TOO many relationships on hold. I can't wait to go around and catch up with all the people I've said, "I can't" to for too long. =)

9. Ministry. I haven't been in a fellowship group at my church for about 3 years. Thankfully, I've got a huge support group of friends and family, but I want to be more purposeful about where I choose to serve the Lord. The first thing is I need to figure out where and how the Lord wants me to serve Him....

10. Most importantly, I want to devote myself to the Word. I have earnestly wanted to read the Bible every day and all the way through, plus do focus studies... but my efforts at this have been pitiful to say the least while I've had so much homework.

It is time!

I'm going to write about it as I go. I always loved to write, but I think my creative energy was all used up in papers... so I've been silent for a long time. Things are going to get interesting now. :)

Ok, well the first thing for today:

Find a sewing class.

Exercise.

Grade 300 papers.

Visit Grampa and bring him an icecream cake.

Go to bed early so I can make it to 1st service at church tomorrow.

Have a nice Saturday!!

Oh, and I want to show you the little "reward" I bought for myself. She is "First Prom Petite Blythe." She's actually--- Graduation Blythe. Something lost in translation? I can't wait till she comes!!