We're a week away from starting a new school year. Things are definitely better than they were this time last year! I have a grasp on what I'm teaching. I have a grasp on the culture and the people in Hawaii. I don't cry every time I hear the song "Home" by Phillip Phillips. I have a church and I found people to love and serve. I have an amazing family at Olelo Christian Academy. I have been able to see my mom and brother and several friends in the last year on Kauai and I was able to go home at Christmas. More people are talking of coming to visit me this next year. I have a nice place to live- after moving 8 times, I think I can finally settle down and accomplish some of my personal goals. Life is so short! I want to focus on a few things to get really good at instead of spreading myself in every direction and accomplishing nothing.
Hawaii has been good for that. I picked up paddle boarding, lei making, and I took hula classes for 3 months. I'm thinking about joining the canoe club and learning to surf. I want to explore the Hawaiian mountains more... maybe do some more kayaking in the ocean- I got to do an amazing kayak trip to Kalalau earlier this summer. I want to keep painting and....... TAXIDERMY! I love it!
I don't know about ministry. My church wanted me to help with women's ministry, but I find that I'm a little apprehensive about it. We'll see what happens this year. I am still teaching Sunday School. And I kind of attend 2 churches. Anahola Baptist and Kauai Baptist Temple. ABC is where I go on Sunday morning and I love the Ohana there. They are the ones that welcomed me to Kauai and have invested so much in my life here. KBT is where most of my coworkers attend and they have more get togethers and services through the week, so I often visit with them and participate in their gatherings.
Anyway, I still have a lot of questions about my life and wonderings about what God has brought me here to accomplish. I sometimes get a little blue because I am getting OLD and every Mr. Wonderful I find does not think I am Miss Wonderful. So yeah... I'm just a big goober- emotionally tarrying my way through life and thanking God every day for HIS unfailing love, provision, care, and mercy.
The things I pray about most are my financial situation and my friend situation. I have tiny, dwindling savings and still school debt to pay off, car problems looming, and no financial stability with my job. I really need to make more money, but all the ideas I have are exhausting. I don't have time to start a business or be a cleaning lady or anything else while I'm teaching full time. My school is making strides to pay us more in the years to come, but of course, that is in the years to come... and I need to pay for things right now. I don't know what will happen- I am trusting the Lord. I may need to just get a different job altogether, but thankfully I don't have to do that right now. It would break my heart to have to stop teaching here/ stop doing what I think God still wants me to do here (although I figure if He does not provide a way, He must not want me to do it any longer!). As for friends, there are not a whole lot of young, single Christians who want to or have time to do things on this island. I spend a lot of time with my boss and I am always hoping and praying more guys will come along to lighten his load of being "the guy" in the group. But also, my roommate just got married and moved off island, my other friends are having a baby.... there aren't really a whole lot of guys or girls. I will often want to go do something at night....especially if it's a beautiful full moon- and I feel like a caged animal when I can't find anyone to go with me. I don't think it's really safe to go a lot of places alone at night- there's a lot of shady people around- drug dealing and stuff. I trust God to provide that too.. He will send friends at the right time/ in His time. Maybe I need to have more loneliness, read more books, struggle uphill longer. There certainly is so much He needs to teach me yet.
When I go home at night, I greet my bird: Sean Ipia. I have been munching on frozen pineapple while I read or watch a movie. I can never make it through a whole movie- I always fall asleep (I'm becoming my mother!). And then sometimes I don't know what to do. I'm not used to living alone. I'm used to other people dictating what I do and often being frustrated that I have to conform to someone with greater "pull" than me. I haven't even been there a month yet... I haven't figured out how to arrange the furniture... I come home and I sit there with Sean Ipia, I munch pineapple, and I stare.. .and I think... .and I think some more. I think I'm just processing my life and trying to figure out the puzzle pieces... trying to establish what comes next, what the priority should be.... and when I still haven't figured it out- I fall asleep- a restless sleep with crazy roosters crowing all night and keeping me awake. In the morning I stumble around trying to get coffee, eat mangoes and decide whether or not to vacuum my hair off the bathroom floor today or tomorrow. I finally go to work and spend myself there.... then go home and sit and think and munch some more.
Soon I will not be sitting and thinking... I will be doing doing doing.... and when I do, maybe I will post some pictures. :)
